I got tired

I just clicked on a favourited link thinking that it was legitimate historical content.

The link took me to a Holocaust Denier article that I was going to include in an essay that I was going to write about how certain things should not be up for debate, because allowing the right wing or neo-Nazis or the Alt-Right or whatever appellation they’re going by these days to “debate” things is simply an invitation to them to shout as loudly as they can that whatever their poisoned mind has been deluded into thinking is true actually is (and never mind the embittered mental gymnastics or indoctrination or plain  bigotry that they had to be subjected to to believe what they’re saying).

But I got tired. I didn’t get tired of reading this sort of thing, though it is exhausting to walk in the twisted gardens that the right-wing landscapers lay out. I didn’t get tired of it all as one might find one’s interest in a subject wanes as it is merely data that can be picked up or put down at whim as it ultimately doesn’t affect one; I am a disabled trans woman – these things directly affect me, as the right-wing wishes that I and people like me did not exist. The attacks on the two minority groups that I am part of have seen such untold misery that hate crimes against both groups skyrocketed and the UN themselves tried to intervene to stop the deliberate destruction of the thousands of people directly affected by official policy. Whether I am interested in this or not, it affects me. My interest did not wane.

I got tired of people outside of the groups directly affected by the right-wing simply not engaging with stamping the ideology out, and falling for the tricks that it uses to worm its way into polite society.

I once had an intelligent man I respect a great deal say to me that he believed that everything should be up for debate. He is not part of the disabled or trans demographics and so has not lived through the concerted attacks that we have lived through that have ramped up in the last decade.

I got tired of having to educate people on why it’s dangerous to debate things that are settled questions when those settled questions relate to a person’s right to life and dignity. I got tired of having to justify my existence in myriad tiny ways and to adjust the way that I am seen by others before I am taken to be a person.

I deleted that web favourite.

I will not write the essay on Holocaust Deniers that I was going to – linking it to the Gender Critical movement and to the ideological thrust that has seen it permissible to process disabled and poor people to death. I will tackle the subject in other ways.

Though I got tired, I have not given up. The Right-Wing seeks to destroy and subjugate everything that does not look like itself and it feels justified in this. Their right to live with their delusion does not force us to accommodate them, because to accommodate them is to begin bargaining which of us should be sacrificed to their idol of homogeneity. We must stamp out their pernicious lies wherever they are spread.

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